Ideas to help you grieve your postponed wedding with a little love, joy and fun in COVID quarantine
Waiting for your wedding day to arrive is an emotional rollercoaster at the best of times. Now, with the extra stress of a pandemic and the possibility – or reality – of rescheduling your wedding, the anticipation can quickly turn to anguish. Let’s be honest about how we feel, while also finding hope in our situation. You still deserve to experience happy moments in your life right now, to help you soothe the heartache of rescheduling your wedding.
Feel All the Feelings About Rescheduling Your Wedding:
For those of you who have had to postpone your wedding, we want you to know that we are so sorry you’re going through this. It’s totally normal if you’re experiencing grief over this situation as COVID-19 has changed many aspects of our lives. If you’re stressing about whether the quarantine will be over in time for your original wedding date, we are walking through the uncertainty with you. You are not alone as you send “save the new dates” and connect with all of your vendors to make alternative arrangements.
If you need more information about our pandemic plan here at Morning Light, click here.
First, we think it’s very important to be real about your feelings right now, and not bury your grief and frustration. Journal all your feelings, say all the unanswered questions out loud, and stay connected with your loved ones so you have people to walk through this with you as a couple.
The Morning Light team is here for you too. Never hesitate to reach out if you have any questions for us.
That said, we also think you’re going to have days where you just want to feel okay again!
That’s why we want to share some of our ideas to help you experience joy, excitement and most of all, love, as you re-countdown to your wedding day. It’s love in the time of COVID.
Find a Light in the Quarantine Tunnel:
When you need a little pick-me-up or just desperately want to have a fun, stress-free day in this “in-between” time period, try out one of these ideas. They can work whether you’re quarantining together or are spending this time apart and relying on video calls. If you try out the ones that resonate with you, it will help this waiting time be less stressful and fill it with more love, joy and fun!
- Focus on your relationship:
Often, wedding planning during “normal” times (whatever those are) can come along with so many distractions that it’s hard to set aside time to focus on growing your relationship. If you find yourself with some extra downtime right now, think twice before you fill it with extra wedding planning. Use this time to focus on your relationship! You two can still thrive during this time. Make a list of all the things you would typically enjoy together as a couple, whether it’s TV shows, music, sports, creative outlets… whatever “thing” is your jam! Find a safe and creative way to keep including those things in your life that brought you together in the first place.
There are also so many incredible authors, experts and resources available to us online that we’ve come to love. We wanted to share a few of them here for you to check out if you like to add some intentional structure to your relationship building:
- Take a look at The Known Project for great questions to ask each other (you’d be surprised how many things you can still learn about your partner!)
- Have you taken the 5 Love Languages test yet? This is the perfect opportunity to sit down and take the test together to figure out how each of you best expresses and receives love and affirmation.
- The Enneagram is another great resource to dive into while you wait for your wedding day to arrive. It’s a personal test that can not only help you feel “known” and “understood” as an individual, but it will also help you relate better to your partner.
And, if you need a quick smile-fix, you can always take a look at adorable videos online of couples who are going to extraordinary lengths to be together during the quarantine.
- Stay connected with your guests:
You’re not alone if this whole quarantine process has been a struggle between introversion and extroversion; it’s strange trying to figure out how much Zoom-calling and how much alone time you need each day when the new default is “social isolation.” The most important thing to note when keeping in touch with your guests is to know what you need as a person to stay healthy and happy.
Or maybe it just looks like a simple, meaningful phone call or email message from you and your partner to your guests.
When you’re feeling up to it, we do recommend connecting with your guests at least once or twice so that you can keep them updated, keep them excited and also feed off of some of their good vibes! You’ve invited these people because you know and love them, and they will want you to know that they are in this with you. And that will feel good to hear!
Consider sending a personalized message along with your save-the-new-date. You can do this with a video, a written message or simply a picture of you both holding a thank you-sign. If you want to express yourself in a few more words, express your gratitude, how excited you both still are to see everyone you love most in the world all in one place, and don’t be afraid to ask for what you need – whether it’s another RSVP, messages of encouragement, prayers or just some good thoughts 🙂
People will love hearing from you, and your message will ensure that the extra time in between now and your wedding will only build up the excitement for the time when you’re all together again.
- Start enjoying pre-wedding festivities:
This one will be especially important if you’ve had to grieve the postponement of your wedding day. No matter how necessary the decision was, you are still allowed to feel all the feelings about it. But as your original wedding date approaches and passes, we think you should get to enjoy little pieces of wedding excitement before, on and after that day that was going to be your wedding.
You don’t need to make it look picture-perfect for social media. Take off the pressure. You don’t even have to share it with anyone – maybe it’s just a quiet celebration with you and the person you will spend the rest of your life with. Just be good to yourself, and see how some of your wedding plans can make an ordinary day feel a little extra special.
Here are a few ideas we had to show yourself little acts of kindness whether you’re waiting out your wedding together in quarantine, or glued to your Zoom account. One of them just might make your day:
- Make (or order-in) a meal that is similar to the menu you chose for your wedding. Was there an appetizer, entree or dessert you were really excited about? Share it with your fiancé (over Zoom, at the kitchen table, or as a TV dinner watching your favourite show).
- If you had any runners-up for your “first dance” song title, make a playlist of all the other contenders. Add some twinkle lights, maybe get dressed up if that feels good, and share a few dances (or just take in the music together).
- Create your signature drink as a couple and toast to another day you made it through in the countdown. May we recommend the “Quarantini?”
Take it One Day at a Time:
No matter how many more days have been added to your wedding day countdown, remember that countdowns never last forever.
We really do believe that the anticipation of your wedding day brings a special kind of joy that you can keep enjoying, making memories with and building a life on during this waiting time.
Some days will be easier than others, absolutely. And be kind to yourself when the tough days come. But you will get through this because you have each other on the good days and the bad days.
Make your own personalized list of ways you and your partner can get through this time together! Everyone needs different things during times of stress, so it’s best to take the ideas that resonate with you and build on them. If you need extra ideas, you can get our full list on our homepage.
We truly hope that in the midst of this difficult time, life hands you so much goodness in other ways that it softens the blow and helps you still make the most of this unique time you have with each other before your wedding day.
Sending you love,
The Morning Light Team
PS. If you’re about to reschedule your wedding want to know our response and how we are dealing with the COVID-19 Crisis you can click: here. If you’re about to hire a photographer, there are a few things you’ll need to ask before hiring them for your wedding. You can find those questions along with a free downloadable checklist: here.